Day #58, no weed.

Day approximately #50 of no Bupropion (antidepressant).

I’ve been feeling all the feels, most haven’t been good. There were days last week that I thought about getting back on Bupropion. There were days the past two weeks where I thought my family might kick me out of the house (kidding.. sort of..). There were days where I almost kicked my entire family out. It doesn’t help that our basement is still torn to pieces and totally unusable. We’re all a little crowded, stuck in on the main floor of our ranch home, cooped up with it being winter time.

After our basement flooded, my workouts stopped. My machines got piled on one side smashed up against a sectional and a dining room table and buffet set. It was too cold for me to have any motivation to go for a walk. My attitude and body said, no workouts.

Also, with being so crowded and feeling like I have no space, I’ve stopped meditating most days.

I promised myself that before I start taking Bupropion again, I would make the lifestyle changes that would naturally help my depression. It took awhile, but I’m finally there. I started walking several days ago, and even got up early enough for a 5am walk yesterday. It’s been a very long time since I’ve walked early. I’m also taking time to meditate- even if it’s just for a few minutes.

I’m mentally feeling better, thank goodness. I just need to keep it up- that’s the hard part I guess- at least until it becomes habit again.

I’m feeling mentally strong and smart without weed. Also, my dreams lately have been so weird and vivid. I never used to remember my dreams. I might remember upon awakening, but then I’d forget and no matter how hard I’d think, the memories would never come back.

These days I remember, vividly, my dreams from last night, the dream from the night before and the night before that. I’m loving it. And it reminds me that my brain is really changing without taking this stuff (in a good way- I hope).

So.. that’s all for an update.

Today, it’s February 27th and like 70 degrees out. We have a virtual school day since its primary election day, so I was able to take a long afternoon walk. It was amazing! I was very hot- and the sunshine was so nice.

I’m gonna enjoy the rest of my day. I hope you’re enjoying yours too! ❤