2024’s mood so far is depressed. This is definitely not what I intended this year to be. I don’t have anything awful going on, so when I get really dumpy– I feel guilt for being sad for no reason. My joy has been sparse so far this year.

Getting back on my antidepressant hasn’t seemed to help. It’s been probably over two weeks, maybe it won’t help this time.

I wonder how much that drink I had a few weeks ago has played a part in how down I’ve been. The first drink I had, after nearly five years, was in December. Maybe that was the start of it. I know that having the occasional drink affects me way more than I know. I’m still occasionally craving it and find myself romanticizing about it sometimes.

I think I’m a Pleiadian starseed because I’ve often felt homesick throughout life. Homesick while at home. I’ve usually felt this feeling every several months or a year- not very often, but it’s a heavy feeling when it comes. I’ve felt it almost everyday for over a week now. It’s not doing anything to help my mood. I’m not sure where this feeling is coming from.

I think writing about it helps. I think I’m going to write down everything in my life that I don’t like right now and then burn it. Make some space for better things.